What I've Learned....

Talking with people back in the States, popular questions are, "What's the weirdest part about living there? How is China different from America? What's it like over there?” Well, for starters, I'm on the complete other side of the freaking OCEAN! So that’s cool…

But in all seriousness… in many ways it’s not so very different at all, and in lots of ways it’s incredibly different, but that’s what makes it brilliant! We tend to grow up thinking our way of living is the correct and only way of living. We find it hard to imagine people living differently than we do. If we don’t travel or aren't receptive to other lifestyles, what we fail to realize is there are endless ways of living life; countless philosophies, and infinite combinations of values and social constructs.

At the core, it’s all the same; it’s all humanity. People in China sleep, eat, poop, burp, laugh cry, argue, and love just as any other human on the planet. Like most people, the citizens of China want the best for their children, and grandchildren. Kids go to school with backpacks adorned with cartoon characters and afterwards are picked up by their Mom, Dad, or Grandparent. Adults go to work at jobs they either love or hate. They enjoy vacations in the country and family dinners at restaurants. They do their best to live healthy, fulfilling, honorable lives.

At the figurative surface there are countless and intriguing differences. I will do my best to note them as I become aware of them, though after nearly a month, I’ve become oblivious to some differences.

So… my list of Observations (so far!):

1. Logic has no place here. You live in a constant state of contradiction. You move fast, but it takes forever to get there. You trust the guy on the street corner with the fire and stir fry pan more than the lady with a physical restaurant. Shanghainese are super classy people, until they pee on the side of the street. They're all about rules, but nobody really knows what they are. They have a lot of great stuff, but it's probably all fake. It's all very high-tech, just don't look too closely at the electric wiring or the plumbing. But the craziest part is that it works. Somehow, to whatever degree, it works……..
2. Bamboo is often used to build scaffolding. The first time you see it, it’s terrifying. It looks like the rickety old tree house in your Uncle Larry’s backyard, or something from Swiss Family Robinson. But after talking with a local about it, they use it because it’s very strong…. (they make bamboo cutting boards and floors for a reason) and because it’s flexible, it can move with the wind and weight. You will also see people sweeping streets and sidewalks with bamboo. Kinda cool, really.
3. Get used to simplifying your morning coffee order. There also seems to be a correlation to what I am able to order and how the rest of my day goes. On a Great day, I can get an Earl Grey (or Black Tea) Latte with Vanilla. On a good day I can get a Vanilla Cafe Latte, on an okay day, it's a cafe latte. On a rough day... coffee. black. now.
4. Really skinny dudes with big beer guts. It defies physiology, but it happens... quite a lot.
5. On a similar note, the Chinese rendition of a cat-call will likely be one of the funniest things you ever experience, and describing it to someone will never do it justice.
   

   

   A chic squat-room.

6. Going to the bathroom becomes a serious task that takes meticulous planning. Unless you have no problem with squatting over a hole you will begin to take note of where western bathrooms can be found, and may even keep a running list on your phone of where the hella-nice-always-stocked-with-TP-and-maybe-even-soap-and-an-attendant bathrooms are (Super Malls). You also learn to carry tissues with you. Everywhere. TP shortage is a real thing.

   

   Heavenly Angels Sing!

7. You get used to not looking into the garbage bin next to the toilet. Don’t do it. To put it nicely… plumbing here isn’t always great. So flushing TP down the toilet isn’t always a good thing, so people get in the habit of throwing their TP in the trash. Like I said, don’t look, and maybe don’t inhale. (This is where that list of hella-nice bathrooms comes in handy.)
8. Frogger is a way of life. But before you jump out into the street, know that pedestrians—unlike in the States—do NOT have the right-of-way. No such thing exists here. Wait for the green walk signal (or the green light for the traffic going your direction if there is no walk signal), walk in the middle of the crowd, and be cautious of scooters (they don’t have to follow traffic laws), and cars/buses/taxis turning. And heaven help you if you have to cross a street with no walk signal during rush hour. 
9. Taxis and Buses drive like bats out of hell, and they honk, a lot. It’s a bit terrifying at first, but you’ll get used to riding in them with experience. Time is money for the taxi drivers, and I think the bus drivers just get bored and are trying for a personal best time for their route or something…. Also, the second you’re on the bus brace yourself or hold onto something. They do not wait for you to be seated before taking off like a rocket. Grab on, quick.
10. Scooters. Everywhere. There are even people whose jobs are to line up parked scooters to allow room for more scooters to be parked. Sometimes, they even have their own lanes! Though, most of the time they don’t, and may drive on the sidewalk, or the street, whichever they fancy. They may drive the wrong way, or weave in and out of people or vehicles. Basically, they can do just about whatever they want. Look out for these sneaky loons. Most will honk their horn if they’re coming up behind you…. But not always.
11. They are umbrella CRAZY! Sun’s out? Umbrella time! Raining? Umbrella time! Miraculously, umbrella time aligns perfectly with “Stab anyone over 5’6” in the eye time!”
12. There aren’t really smoking regulations. Folks with allergies, get yourself a nice facemask. For the most part, you’re not allowed to smoke inside of public places (with the exception of restaurants?), but outdoors it’s a smokers haven!
13. No legal drinking age. A toddler could legally buy alcohol.
    

    

    The Gaokao.

14. School is serious business here. Students have 2 major tests: the Jiankao (High School entrance exam that decides which high school you will attend (there are prestigious schools and lesser schools) and the Gaokao (College Entrance exam). The Gaokao is a 9-hour long exam of serious, hellish business.  The pressure on these students is immense and has caused a terribly high suicide rate amongst this age demographic. You can learn a bit about the Gaokao here and here.
15. Get used to showering at night. If you can, after 10pm. Water is cheaper then, and you feel clean when you crawl into bed.
16. According to Chinese belief, you must empty your trash can everyday! It is unhealthy to do otherwise. (My apartment agent, Dixon told us so. And Dixon knows all.)
17. Also according to Chinese belief, cold water is unhealthy. This may stem from the fact that their tap water is undrinkable and they have to boil it before consuming. In the days before bottled water, I could see how it might be instilled in a culture that “cold water is bad”. You may get a funny look when you ask for “bing shui”, aka “ice water”.
18. While we’re on the topic of water, be prepared if you order water at a restaurant or bars in particular. You may think you’re going to get a complimentary glass or at the most a 3-6kuai bottle (kuai, renminbi and yuan are synonymous, like buck/bill/dollar). But you may be hit with a 35kuai bottle of perrier. (Roughly 1RMB=$0.16 or 100RMB = $16) Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything…….
19. You’re going to get really good at observing what the locals do and copying them, whenever some new task comes along.
20. If you’re really lost or stuck, look for someone who is well dressed and roughly in their twenties, and maybe even carries a briefcase. Hopefully, this will be someone who went to a good school and had to learn some amount of English to graduate.
21. Your agent and landlord will likely always have access to your apartment. And you kinda want them to. If something breaks or needs taken care of, they’re the ones who are going to get it done, and likely while you're away. Actually, hopefully when you're away... you don't really want to know all their repair methods. Just make sure anything of value leaves with you or is locked/hidden away.
22. Someone may show up at your door, knocking like the apocalypse is starting, and deliver a random package, insisting that you indeed ordered it. They may also return later that same day to pick up said mistakenly delivered package. You may mutter “I told you so” to which they will not respond because they know zero English. All this is perfectly normal.
23. You will begin to enjoy reading body language on the metro, especially when you notice they are talking about you. You may even start messing with them, maybe acting like you’re listening and comprehending what they’re saying, or making funny faces, striking poses, or staring back.
24. Your doorman knows a single English word, “Hello.” After that, he starts talking to you in Chinese. But you love him anyway, and have great imaginary conversations in your head.
25. Charades is not just a game anymore. It’s a way of life. There are similar words, or cognates that cross the language barrier, like cola, wifi, no, and mango, but not many.
26. You will feel a certain camaraderie for any fellow western expat you come across. This could manifest in a lengthy conversation or in a simple smile-and-nod on the metro as you both listen to your respective playlists. Doesn’t really matter how you interact, but you know that if you were in need, they'd help you out.
27. Grocery shopping, particularly for fruits, veggies and meat is a whole new ball game. On one hand, you’re grossed out seeing nearly the entire animal hanging right in your face; on the other, you want to make sure you’re eating right; on the OTHER other hand… BAAARF! I mean… this is a breeding ground for bacteria! Yikes!
28. Also be careful with purchasing liquor, or happy hours advertising “free" or ridiculously discounted drinks. China has a HUGE fake alcohol problem, and some can be devastating to your health. You can find “Zero Fake” liquor stores, and most upscale restaurants serve the real deal.  When in doubt, stick to individual bottles or cans of beer.
29. Green Tea flavored stuff is everywhere. It’s like pumpkin spice, but not limited to a specific season.
30. Ladies, if you’re over a size 8 shoe… better be okay ordering online or wearing men’s shoes. (RetroEdit: In my time in Shanghai, I found two size 9s. Two.)
31. When Chinese guys stare, you are automatically confused about whether they’re interested or just curious/suspicious of the obvious foreigner. To save your fragile ego, you may opt to simply believe they’re always staring because your super-human good looks are hard to resist.
32. Why do the Chinese not have an obesity issue with all of the food options-- domestic and imported-- available? They walk EVERYWHERE. At the end of a normal work day, I’ve probably done 5+ miles of walking. On an errand day, it’s probably more like 8…. There are some metro stations, it feels like you walk a mile just to cross the interchange or find your exit.
    

    

    The Underworld.

33.  In Shanghai, one gives directions in regard to districts and metro stations. I work in Minhang, near WaiHuanLu Station, and live in Xuhui, near the Stadium Station. My commute between these two places is only about 10 miles, but it takes a little over an hour and consists of walking, metro, walking, or sometimes the bus if it’s running on schedule. Thank god for earbuds and e-readers. (RetroEdit: Line 12 is now open! I now work near GudaiLu! Still takes me about an hour to get to work, but a much less stressful hour, with more reading, and zero buses.)
34. There is no “ladies first” rule here. Guys don’t hold doors for women, or make sure they are seated or served first. None of that! Instead, priority is given to the most senior ranking individual of either gender. The juniors are expected to hold doors and elevators for their superiors, male or female.  If you have two people of opposite gender and identical rank, priority defaults to the man. Sorry ladies, they haven’t quite made that particular social stride yet. Not to mention, it’s ingrained in a 5000 year old culture…. could be a while.
    

    

    A real celebrity could walk on, and they'd never even know it.

35. People live perfectly whole lives without facebook. But that’s because they have an alternative, not that they've sworn off social media. And I think the Chinese are more glued to their phones than Americans. I didn’t think it possible, until I saw it. Riding the metro, people typically fall into 3 activity categories…. Ranked by popularity: 1. On their phones watching movies, chatting on QQ or weChat, maybe working. 2. Sleeping or wishing they were asleep. 3. Trying to read the map and decide where they need to get off.
36. In China, chances are, you're a minority. Ponder this for a while. How do you feel as a minority? How do you feel you are treated? Is this better or worse than how minorities are treated where you are from? Make adjustments accordingly. I feel I have been treated remarkably well in China so far. Many westerners here experience a pseudo-celebrity lifestyle at times. It's not uncommon for westerners to get free drinks, meals, or free VIP entry into clubs just for being westerners. On the other hand, I have walked into shops and been followed around, I've been taxi'ed in a roundabout fashion, I've been laughed at because I don't speak the language very well (or at all, really), and I've been lost and confused in a strange place with little to no help from locals. So next time you encounter someone who is not a born and bred "American" (or whatever), think about how you would like to be treated if you were in a foreign country, trying to make a life for yourself and/or your family.
37. Expats are some of the coolest people you’ll meet with some of the coolest stories ever. Ever. And my roommates are awesome. Our apartment fills with a harmony of world languages on a nightly basis, and I love it. Here's to Poland, Switzerland, the UK, and the USA. Slanje!
    
    If you have any questions about China, feel free to ask. I will try my best to answer them or find someone who can.
    
    
    

    

    My 'Hood.

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     

A Week+ Later...

Last night, I found an apartment. This is a huge weight off my shoulders. With my company-paid nights at the hotel quickly coming to an end, I was beginning to wonder whether I would find anything habitable. Apartment hunting here is not like it is in America. In America, you can stroll a neighborhood you like or drive by a complex, jot down the phone number, or walk into the office, ask if there are any rooms (or perhaps they have a giant "NOW RENTING" sign on display), and walk out that afternoon with keys to a decent, engineer-approved, structurally sound living space.

In China however, this is not the case.

Firstly, you hop online (which you might also do in the States). Most of us have been using SmartShanghai.com which is a great resource for many things when it comes to expats in Shanghai. You paruse the listings, hoping to find one near your school, or on your metro line, or perhaps in a neighborhood you really like. Many listings are way out of our budget (note: nearly all of these listing are way out of the budget of locals. Minimum wage here is 1,820RMB/month. The EF Teacher untaxed housing allowance is 4,000RMB/month. Based on this, you would think we ought to be living like Royalty. And to many, we are. But to our Western Standards, what 4,000RMB might pay for, is not always pretty. I have seen at least 4 apartments where the kitchen is nearly a protruding hole in the wall that they tell me is the sink. A hotplate from WWII would be the stove, and a the toilet and shower are for all intensive purposes the same thing.

Once you find something you like, you will typically contact the agent and make an appointment to view the apartment. An agent is essentially a liaison between you and the landlord, and usually speaks a helpful amount of English. Your agent is your liaison for as long as you live in the apartment. If something breaks, you contact them and they will see it gets fixed or replaced. They are great people to build rapport with, and maybe buy a drink for later. Agents don't come free, usually there is a one-time 35% agent fee (whatever 35% of your monthly rent is).

We have been told that many agents will show you the sketchy apartments first, as they are trying to get rid of them, and are hoping that our naivety will work to their benefit. They often also ask for much more than the apartment is worth, saying things like "Nice area", "won't find anything cheaper" and so on... A rule of thumb, start at half of what they ask, work up the 75%. If they don't take that, walk out. They will probably call you back and say, "okay." Also, don't give anymore than 2 months for a deposit. One agent was asking for 4 months deposit. What a silly man. I was quickly able to negotiate down to 2, but I turned down that apartment anyway, as I was not terribly thrilled with the bathroom/kitchen situation.

Yesterday, I viewed an apartment near Shanghai Indoor Stadium (think sports arena + mall). Upon my arrival I was surprised to find a gate and gatekeeper standing outside the complex. The number of Mercedes, BMW's, and Audi's parked around the apartment also gave me an idea of the affluence in the area. Things were already looking positive. I found the correct building, and with the address kindly written in Mandarin was able to ask a local for help as to where I might find this specific apartment (logic has no place here). The building was undergoing renovations so there were some building materials and old furniture strewn about, but I could see the potential and that there was actually an end goal. Finding my way up to the 12th floor, I turned a corner to find a beautiful dark mahogany (maybe?) door open to a light, airy interior. On closer approach, I saw "12H" next to the door. YES! I knocked on the frame and announced my presence. The Agent, Dixon, came from the back of the apartment. A friendly local, he showed me the 2 rooms that were still available. The apartment went on the market that morning and by the afternoon 2 rooms were already taken by a fellow from Liverpool and one from Poland, and many others hoping to see it later.

While I was looking around another gentleman from Switzerland arrived and snatched up the larger of the 2 available rooms. We sat and talked, getting to know each other and both of us wished the 2 current residents were home so we could meet them. Wish partially granted, the man from Liverpool walked in later on. We all seemed to strike a healthy rapport with each other, intrigued by what brought each of us to Shanghai and our past life experiences. They seemed like good, easy-going people who weren't going to stay up all night partying. Dixon, also assured us that as an agent he doesn't rent to messy or noisy people, and out of respect for his boss, his career and " saving face", will make those people leave. I approved of this.

In the end, I couldn't turn it down. An easy walk to my metro line. A 10 minute walk from the charming French Concession and 15 minutes from Hengshen Road (a popular street to find expats dining, shopping, drinking, whatever), and the cleanest, nicest place I had seen thus far. The room was small in comparison to my past boudoirs, but extremely affordable. I took it. I gave him some of the cash I had on hand to reserve my spot and told him I would pay the rest over the next couple of days. He agreed to this, and we signed the paperwork, myself and the Swiss fellow.

Twelve hours on the market, and the entire apartment is rented out. You have to move quick in this town. Stake your claim, or get out. There are 25 million people here; when in Shanghai, you better learn to push and shove.

"Just walk around like you own the place!" *CLANG!* "Gah! Stupid ticket gate!"

So, yesterday. Where do I start? Yesterday was my first full day in Shanghai. It began at 3:30am after one of the worst night's sleep in my life. Somewhere deep in my brain, my biological clock was just like, "Nah, girl, it's time to get up, not go to sleep!" So despite that I had been up for like 30 hours... I wasn't having luck falling and staying sleep.

I went through my welcome kit and found my archaic piece of cell phone technology, and several handy guide books, teaching texts, and orientation materials. I met my fellow teachers downstairs in the hotel lobby. I was surprised by how many of us there were! We filled 3 taxi vans! We arrived at EF headquarters, located near Jing'An Temple around 8am. We were served a light breakfast of coffee/tea and what is locally called, "bing". It's like a Pita thing with some sort of seasoning/veggie stuff. It was really good. We had some time to chat and get to know each other, then we broke off into groups to go over paperwork, resident visas, and all sorts of other fun things.

About lunchtime we stretched our legs and had our first metro experience. These stations are HUGE! They are like small cities underground. It's amazing! Shops, food, passport photo vending machines, more shops (this is where you'll find that fake or reject Vuitton bag), and more food! Each station has multiple entrances and exits leading to different areas, and you can easily get lost or end up on the opposite side of the giant station from your Hotel and end up walking around for 2 hours until you learn there are two Exit 4's, and you picked the wrong one. Not that we know what that's like...

We had lunch in a large food hall with endless dining options. I went for the first one with an English menu, not wanting to get too chancy on my first day. It was delicious, but between jet-lag, sleep deprivation, and the heat I didn't eat much for fear of it coming back up.

China Tip #1: Old Ladies push you around. Literally. Do not feel bad about pushing back. In a city of 25million, real estate, whether it be an apartment or a piece of sidewalk is valuable. If you're in someone's way they will push you with no apology or acknowledgement. This is normal here.

China Tip #2: It's okay to wear your backpack on your front, in fact it's recommended, particularly in crowded areas. This makes pickpocketing harder. Also, don't stash things in your back pockets.

After lunch we continued our little city tour by walking down Nanjing Road to The Bund where we got our first real view of the Pearl. The architecture along this route was nothing short of impressive. The stores were everything from Forever21, to Burberry, to Banana Republic, to the First Food Market (a large market with everything from oranges to pig-heads on a stick). When we arrived at the Bund we became the entertainment to the locals. Many of them stood by taking our pictures or video (they weren't very covert about it) and some even asked to take pictures with us. When our guide took our group picture we had a handful of locals come to stand next to her to get their own picture of our large expat group.

We continued on to the Adult learning center, somewhere off of Nanjing Road... (This is where I started losing track of where we were.) We had the chance to refill our water bottles (DON'T DRINK THE TAP WATER!) and enjoy the Air-Con while we had a presentation on apartment hunting in Shanghai. We were then released to do what we pleased with our afternoon. Exhausted, sweaty, and exhausted, a large number of us decided to head to the hotel for a shower and a rest before dinner. We made our way back to the metro, got on the metro, then got off the metro successfully.

...About an hour and a half later we figured out how to get from the correct metro station back to the hotel (this is that whole bit about the 4-North exit...Tip: Head towards Exit 6, then divert to Exit 4 after the trek through the looooooooooong tunnel that goes under the station.) Walking around Shanghai is a bit like one continuous game of frogger. Between the cars, buses, trucks, and scooters that tend to drive wherever they please, it can be a bit hectic. Drivers are also not shy about using their horns. Though, on many occasions this has benefited us as it alerts us to their coming up behind us. There are lines on the road, though they seem to serve more as suggestions as to the directional flow of traffic, and not necessarily the "stay in between the lines" sort of organization we are used to. People drive the way they walk, they will shove you out of the way and cut you off. If there is an accident, the drivers make sure everyone is okay, then without exchanging info, say, "Nice to meet you, okay, bye" get back in their cars and drive off.

Showers are wonderful things. Many of us are strategizing how we might afford to take multiple showers a day once we are paying for water. (5 minutes in the morning, 2 minutes in the afternoon and 3 in the evening?) The humidity is killer when you're not acclimated to it. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Post shower, I took some ibuprofen for the killer heat and sleep-deprived headache banging in my temples and fell into the best hour and a half's sleep I had since my arrival. I woke a bit before 8 and met folks downstairs to voyage out in search of dinner. We headed back to People's Square and Nanjing Road and found an open air restaurant called Chez l'Ami. A very westernized retaurant with westernized prices. But being a bit of a celebratory dinner, we didn't mind. We survived Day 1! We impressed our waiter with our beer drinking abilities (Stella Artois was the featured beer on tap), enjoyed some communal plates of fries (or to the English gent with us, "chips"), chicken strips, and a rather decorative fruit platter. A simple, light meal after a long, hot day.

After dinner we made our way back to the hotel (only briefly getting lost this time). Along the way we overheard the dulcet tones of the english language coming from someone not in our group. We quickly made a friend with another expat and her Chinese friend (she spoke Mandarin AND English! A rare and valuable breed!) Making it back to the station just in time to grab the last train for the night (11pm!) we turned more heads with our uniquely foreign looks.

Took one last rinse off in the shower, then fell into bed to the sounds of Kevin Spacey in some Irish fishing movie. (At any given time there is only one English bit of entertainment on the TV, so likely you and all your English speaking friends are watching the same thing.... something to bond over, I guess.